As of yesterday, I am no longer a homeschooling mama.
I’m not even sure I ever was, as our homeschooling efforts have been something of a spectacular disaster, not to mention short-lived, but regardless, it feels so good to know that it’s over! I really wanted to be the kind of mama who homeschools, but in the end, it’s just not me. And I’m so thankful that I’ve been able to accept this about myself and just move on.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve spent so much time reading blogs written by women who have a bunch of children and who homeschool them all. In fact, in my own extended family, many of my cousins were homeschooled. Somewhere along the way I internalized that the epitome of good mothering was to homeschool. And after all the attachment parenting we’ve done, it seemed like the natural progression of things.
But the reality of it was much different than I anticipated. There were all the usual problems of trying to teach an older child with much younger ones needing constant attention, but at the end of the day, I just didn’t enjoy it and neither did Pumpy. For me, it felt claustrophobic, spending every single day stuck in our house together with little variation. Although I had originally planned for us to do different things (like museums, etc), it’s so hard to for me to find the motivation to haul all three kids out of the house together for something like that! It was just too much, and mentally, I could feel myself getting worn down with each passing day.
Anyway, I stand in awe of all the homeschooling moms out there who can manage that. I am not able to, and I honestly don’t want to! On Monday, Pumpy will join the kindergarten class at a nearby Catholic school. Papaya will be joining the preschool class three days a week.
I feel like a gigantic burden has been lifted. I feel like I can breathe again. The kids are really excited, too. And now I have the added bonus of a bit of one-on-one time with Thunder Thighs.
